Josh
Josh (no relation)
Josh needs no introduction. You know him, you love him, he's your hamster's godfather, your house plant's mutual enemy, and an outspoken proponent of the oxford comma. Anything you need done, he can almost do. His resume is a mile long, and that's just the short version. I once saw him eat an entire honey baked ham in twelve minutes and fifteen seconds flat. He scares me in a way that challenges me to be a better person; and if I'm being honest, I don't know how I feel about that – besides scared of him in a way that challenges me to be a better person, as mentioned earlier.
Josh was born at a young age, right here in the golden heart of wherever we currently are. At the age of ten days old he opened his eyes on purpose for the first time. Only a few weeks later he gained the ability to see the color red (babies are born colorblind, that's real, look it up) and from there there was no stopping him. Precocious, loquacious, and a third thing, Josh has always pursued his passions with a ravenous ennui that would make anyone say "I don't think that word means what he thinks it means." Undeterred by these 'anyone's nay-saying his vocab comprehension, Josh would sit down, flip open his thesaurus, and indefatigably finish writing his artist bio.
Josh's only fault is that he's always had trouble finishing tasks, however